Yet sibling relationships can play important roles in our development as individuals and often bring just as much, if not more, joy, anger, pain, frustration, and pleasure. Relationships with brothers and sisters are also the longest that we will experience in our lives, since most siblings outlive parents and they begin earlier than those we establish with friends.Many parents still believe in the story that their children should naturally just get along, being loving, affectionate, and supportive of each other. However, the studies that do exist on siblings show that this natural harmony is much more fiction than fact. The earliest research on relationships among siblings developed the common theme that brothers and sisters relate to each other mainly in a rivalrous (竞争的) way, competing for parental attention and status within the family unit. It is true that young siblings often fight with each other, putting the pressure on the entire family. In fact, family psychologists report that quarrels among siblings is one of the top concerns of their clients.Many studies agree that sibling rivalry is strongest between brothers -- especially when they are close in age, and that the rivalry continues into adulthood with increasing conflicts, competition, and jealousy. This effect is most definite when the brothers have jobs of unequal status, for example if one is a Wall Street broker and the other a furniture salesman. One 1962 study even showed that male workers were happiest with their jobs when they felt that they were doing better than their brothers and least satisfied when they felt their brothers were in a ‘better’ job. Another study in 1975 concluded that siblings use each other to as ‘measuring sticks’ to evaluate how well they are doing in life. As a result, when one sibling seems to have better performance in work, the relationship can become tense.Rivalry is the basis of the most sibling interaction problems. In a typical family, each sibling wants and will fight in various ways for the attention the others are receiving. Rivalry can become especially obvious when one of the children has a disability, because the parents will have to spend more time with the disabled child. Small children do not understand this, since they only consider another child as a threat, and will work harder to attract more parental attention. Unless the parents are careful to provide structure and limits, this usually results in the disabled child receiving too little attention, adding to the child’s disadvantages later in life.Rivalry seems to occur least between brothers and sisters, while sisters often report becoming much closer as they grow into adulthood. However, these comparisons can be cheating. Some child behaviorists suggest that they are, in fact, false, and that people only have these impressions because boys’ competition is more visible. Boys tend to fight physically. But girls tend to fight verbally, with their words full of hatred and anger. If the siblings do not live together, the rivalry will decrease a lot. Recent research suggests that competition with siblings may not fade in fact, but that many people are unwilling to admit this, believing such emotions to be immature or unworthy.Children’s natural selfishness is a normal part of all sibling relationships.Most is no cause for alarm. In fact, overreacting to such competition can do more harm than good, although ignoring it is not helpful, either. According to several studies, most parents then to react to conflict with passive behavior, for example, they do and say nothing, or they simply tell the children to expressing and learning about their emotions and can actually prolong their rivalry into adulthood. A more effective way for parents is to model positive behavior in their adult relationships and to reward it in their children. They can make such statements as, “I am so proud of you two for working together on the project,” or “Seeing you share your toys with your sister makes me very happy.” Also, researchers suggest that parents sit down with their children and act as a mediator to settle the quarrels.【小题1】One misunderstanding among parents is that_______. A．children can naturally get along well with their brothers and sisters. B．children fight with each other when they are young. C．brothers and sisters compete for the status within the family unit. D．brothers and sisters struggle for parents’ attention. 【小题2】Research findings show that a man shows the highest level of satisfaction with his job when his brother ________. A．achieves success in his career. B．chooses the same job. C．takes a job of lower status. D．finds ‘measuring sticks’ to motivate him. 【小题3】The disabled child in a family may get less attention from the parents because ________. A．he is not healthy and capable. B．he annoys the parents by taking up too much of their time. C．other children of the family speak badly of him in front of the parents. D．other children of the family, out of jealousy, call the parents’ attention to themselves on purpose. 【小题4】Seeing conflicts among children, parents should _________. A．tell the children to stop fighting and criticize them strictly. B．recognize children’s shining points and mediate conflicts. C．read the children stories about positive behavior. D．ignore their conflicts.

Sibling relationships

Perhaps because most societies place so much emphasis on the parent-child relationship, there is a relative lack of information on the relationships among brothers and sisters. Yet sibling relationships can play important roles in our development as individuals and often bring just as much, if not more, joy, anger, pain, frustration, and pleasure. Relationships with brothers and sisters are also the longest that we will experience in our lives, since most siblings outlive parents and they begin earlier than those we establish with friends.

Many parents still believe in the story that their children should naturally just get along, being loving, affectionate, and supportive of each other. However, the studies that do exist on siblings show that this natural harmony is much more fiction than fact. The earliest research on relationships among siblings developed the common theme that brothers and sisters relate to each other mainly in a rivalrous (竞争的) way, competing for parental attention and status within the family unit. It is true that young siblings often fight with each other, putting the pressure on the entire family. In fact, family psychologists report that quarrels among siblings is one of the top concerns of their clients.

Many studies agree that sibling rivalry is strongest between brothers -- especially when they are close in age, and that the rivalry continues into adulthood with increasing conflicts, competition, and jealousy. This effect is most definite when the brothers have jobs of unequal status, for example if one is a Wall Street broker and the other a furniture salesman. One 1962 study even showed that male workers were happiest with their jobs when they felt that they were doing better than their brothers and least satisfied when they felt their brothers were in a ‘better’ job. Another study in 1975 concluded that siblings use each other to as ‘measuring sticks’ to evaluate how well they are doing in life. As a result, when one sibling seems to have better performance in work, the relationship can become tense.

Rivalry is the basis of the most sibling interaction problems. In a typical family, each sibling wants and will fight in various ways for the attention the others are receiving. Rivalry can become especially obvious when one of the children has a disability, because the parents will have to spend more time with the disabled child. Small children do not understand this, since they only consider another child as a threat, and will work harder to attract more parental attention. Unless the parents are careful to provide structure and limits, this usually results in the disabled child receiving too little attention, adding to the child’s disadvantages later in life.

Rivalry seems to occur least between brothers and sisters, while sisters often report becoming much closer as they grow into adulthood. However, these comparisons can be cheating. Some child behaviorists suggest that they are, in fact, false, and that people only have these impressions because boys’ competition is more visible. Boys tend to fight physically. But girls tend to fight verbally, with their words full of hatred and anger. If the siblings do not live together, the rivalry will decrease a lot. Recent research suggests that competition with siblings may not fade in fact, but that many people are unwilling to admit this, believing such emotions to be immature or unworthy.

Children’s natural selfishness is a normal part of all sibling relationships.

Most is no cause for alarm. In fact, overreacting to such competition can do more harm than good, although ignoring it is not helpful, either. According to several studies, most parents then to react to conflict with passive behavior, for example, they do and say nothing, or they simply tell the children to expressing and learning about their emotions and can actually prolong their rivalry into adulthood. A more effective way for parents is to model positive behavior in their adult relationships and to reward it in their children. They can make such statements as, “I am so proud of you two for working together on the project,” or “Seeing you share your toys with your sister makes me very happy.” Also, researchers suggest that parents sit down with their children and act as a mediator to settle the quarrels.

【小题1】One misunderstanding among parents is that_______.

A．children can naturally get along well with their brothers and sisters.

B．children fight with each other when they are young.

C．brothers and sisters compete for the status within the family unit.

D．brothers and sisters struggle for parents’ attention.

【小题2】Research findings show that a man shows the highest level of satisfaction with his job when his brother ________.

A．achieves success in his career.

B．chooses the same job.

C．takes a job of lower status.

D．finds ‘measuring sticks’ to motivate him.

【小题3】The disabled child in a family may get less attention from the parents because ________.

A．he is not healthy and capable.

B．he annoys the parents by taking up too much of their time.

C．other children of the family speak badly of him in front of the parents.

D．other children of the family, out of jealousy, call the parents’ attention to themselves on purpose.

【小题4】Seeing conflicts among children, parents should _________.

A．tell the children to stop fighting and criticize them strictly.

B．recognize children’s shining points and mediate conflicts.

C．read the children stories about positive behavior.

D．ignore their conflicts.